👂 What You Want versus What You Need
It’s easy for our brains to trick us into thinking they’re the same thing.
Good Morning!
The thing we all wrestle with at the crux of our very being is what is best for us.
Did I pick the right career?
In this career I picked, did I go about it the right way?
How could I do it better?
Is it okay to take a break to focus on ____?
How much time can I spend on _____ before I have to get back to ______?
If you read this newsletter, you’re likely the type of person who is so utterly dialed in to your day-to-day that you’re always looking g for ways to optimize.
Today, I’m making the case for finding a way to simplify your decision making by focusing on wants versus needs.
Spoiler Alert: You might want to re-read the section about needs.
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Newsletter Summary:
Why Wants and Needs can’t always be the same thing
Three surefire ways to weed out the Wants from the Needs
One quote about desire to start the week
👂 What You Want versus What You Need
Lately I’ve been focusing on career advancement, which ultimately requires me to sit down once or twice (if not more) per week to critically evaluate how my time is being spent.
If it’s not:
Advancing health and knowledge of health for my clients
Securing a long-term relationship with them to guarantee their longevity
Making me smarter about these two things, or
Giving me further ideas on how to expand on them
… then I don’t want to spend time on it.
This is a high level of thinking that you, a High-Performance Health reader, probably engage in frequently, too.
Your hierarchy of time management likely looks different than mine, but one thing that applies to all of us wanting to advance our life — because let’s be honest, our brains are not made for satisfaction and we constantly want more — is that we need to differentiate the wants from the needs to advance ourselves.
Have you ever felt stuck in a rut, like you’re spinning your wheels and not able to figure out why the wheels keep turning and nothing is moving?
There are many reasons why this can happen and I don’t pretend to have the answers to everyone’s individual ruts, but one very likely answer could be that you’re focusing too hard on your Wants and not your Needs.
Let’s break that down.
It can be hard to distinguish Wants from
Needs.
Why?
Because you can both want and need something to make you feel whole.
Because wants and needs generally both evolve throughout the course of one’s life.
And, because technology has skewed our understanding of what we should want and need.
We don’t have time today to break down all the ways in which technology has ruined our brains’ understanding of needs, but let’s give a basic overview of what I think it’s done from both a health and fitness lens and a general life lens.
Wants, in practicality, can be virtually unlimited. You could be tricked by social media, ads, television, and peer pressure into wanting a billion things.
Needs are generally more limited — nutritious food, hydration, exercise, to name a few — but the same forms of technology mentioned above have superimposed ideas of “needs” on top of the real necessities.
Instead of basic nourishment and calorie control, technology and peer pressure makes us think, “I need 100% organic everything, 10 supplemental capsules, and no more coffee!”
Instead of regular, structured exercise for good biomarkers at your annual physical, technology makes us think, “I need 5 HIIT workouts a week with one day where I completely max out so I can have a six pack!”
The list goes on.
Oftentimes the simplest answer is the best one for our health and our overall lives.
You don’t need to be training 7 days a week to prove anything to anyone.
You probably just want to.
And that’s fine, until it’s not.
When you conflate this want and need, that conflation bleeds over into other areas of your life.
Like thinking you “need” to spend 10 hours a day at the office when the same amount of work could get done in 7.
Or decided you “need” a second coffee to keep you awake because you slept awfully the night before thinking about your wants.
When this behavior goes on long enough, it gets hard to undo.
And years can pass before you realize not dissecting those wants and needs early on was a bad decision.
Three surefire ways to differentiate Wants and Needs
If you read this far and want to start telling yourself what you need to do to discern these things (because I can’t do it for you, that is, unless you hire me to), here are three tips I’d suggest to help manage your priorities.
Hire a coach or therapist. An outside pair of eyes to objectively look at your priorities is one of the most astute investments you can make in your life, even if just for a short period of time. The most tremendous insights I’ve had in furthering my life’s progress have come when I was either under the tutelage or supervision of a mentor or therapist. You are not always the best judge of your character, and oftentimes someone removed from your situation can give you more profound wisdom.
Do a “performance report” of your personal hobbies. Are they adding value to your life? Are they helping you come back to your work more recharged, or are they siphoning the energy you need for it? When was the last time you took some time for a hobby and it actually gave you MORE energy? If it is taking up bandwidth and time in your life and destroying productivity, it’s probably not something you need.
Do a technology detox. This could be something as simple as uninstalling an app, or maybe uninstalling them all. Take a break from streaming. Turn off outside notifications on your phone laptop. Detach from the national news. Or all of the above. It’s not feasible to ditch all tech in today’s day and age, but it’s quantifiably true that too much of it is not good for your health. You may find that sacrificing time away from one of these things can help you understand whether or not it’s a want or a need.
One Quote About Desire To Start The Week
“You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as you dominant aspiration.”
Let’s crush it this week!